Archive | May 27, 2008

Mommy, You need to be Wonder Woman, by Sandra Beck of Motherhood Incorporated

 by sandra beck

 

I was talking to my husband about the running of my company www.motherhoodincorporated.com and how I was feeling run down, overworked and getting really stressed out as my company continues to grow in leaps and bounds.  Some days it feels like I am wrangling 6 horses that want to charge out of control while I hold on to the reigns for dear life.  In the beginning, I fretted about too little work …now I fret about too much. My son who is four looked up at me and said, “Mommy, you just need to be Wonder Woman.”

 

He was right.

 

But I am no Wonder Woman. No snazzy cuffs. No invisible jet. No magic lasso. 

 

I went online to find some tips on time management.  I often complain about not having the time to get things done and boy was I surprised to find so much of the on-line advice blaming me for wasting time and constantly! What I found was that many experts said on average that interruptions happen approximately 8 times a day and adds up to about 2-3 hours of wasted time.  I was also instructed that I can control these interruptions with just a little persistence and planning.

 

My first thought was, “You are out of your cotton-picking mind!”

 

My second thought was, “You are not a working mother!”

 

In my effort to “plan, plan, plan” and “if you fail to plan, plan to fail,” I realized a few things as I plan for Motherhood Incorporated’s day..

 

  1. No matter how much you plan or organize, a bloody nose, a dirty diaper or a high fever throws you off your plan.

 

  1. You are only as good as your support systems allow you to be – babysitters flaking, kids home sick from daycare,  or husbands out of town throw you off your plan.

 

  1. Planning gets the dinner done faster, but won’t do the grocery shopping, the cooking or the cleanup while battling with your children over the “Yuk!” dinner you prepared.

 

  1. Established working hours only work if your kids, dogs, husbands and the planet Mercury are in alignment. Check your astronomy guide for that part of your “plan.”

 

  1. Planning to get everything done on your to-do list is like taking off all the baby weight you gained in your third pregnancy, plus the first and second, by this weekend.

 

It sounds like I am actively against planning, but I am really not.  I am actively against UNREALISTIC planning. I have found that my own system  at www.motherhoodincorporated.com works best.  I write down everything I have to do each day prior to starting my work day.  I put everything in one of three categories:

 

  1. Things that MUST get done today.
  2. Things I COULD get done today.
  3. Things that CAN WAIT.

 

I made a promise to myself that I will be proud of myself if I just accomplish the things that MUST get done.   If I have time, I get to the could ones…but that is pretty rare.  As for the things that are in the can wait category – well they wait and that is okay.

 

My advice for everyone reading this article – do the best you can, set realistic expectations taking into consideration your responsibilities, and hide two matching bracelets in your desk for the times you need to repel evil clients!

 

Watching My Aunt Lose Her Son by Jennifer France-Talvitie

Two weeks ago my 25 year old cousin died suddenly. It has been a horrible, incredibly sad time for my family and I.

I went home to be with my family and plan and attend his funeral. I watched as my aunt, uncle and their two remaining kids struggled to come to terms with his sudden passing. As we all rallied around them, we were constantly trying to make sense of this horrible situation.

What struck me and continues to strike me was watching my aunt lose her son. As a new mom, I feel a strong connection and understanding of motherhood now. A feeling you just can’t understand until you become a mom. I talked with my aunt about her boy, her “baby”. She shared so many memories with all of us. I made it my job to put together the posters for his funeral that were full of pictures of his life. There were so many amazing pictures. The ones with his parents really hit me hard. The ones with his mom filled me with intense sadness and dread.

The world of vulnerability we enter into as parents is powerful and strong. If we were to spend our day thinking about all the disastrous situations our children could get into every second of the day we’d wrap then in bubble wrap and never let them out of our site. But we can’t live that way. However, watching my aunt suffer so much makes me want to do just that.

As a mom, I can feel my aunt’s anguish. It’s palpable. All I can do is send her all my love, speak with her about Ryan and be there for her when she needs me.

When I look at my little boy, I feel so blessed. I hold him tight and take in each moment I have with him.