Time Consolidation 101 aka What I Can't Do by Karen Williams

I’m learning.

I can wash bottles, portion formula, and separate my recycling while waiting for the coffee to brew.  I can change my baby, pack her school bag, and feed the dogs while waiting for the dryer to stop (because there’s no way to work ironing into my schedule; I’ve tried).  I can even schedule a doctor’s appointment while checking my email, grocery shopping, and entertaining my baby.  These are all things I can do.

What I can’t do, however, is consolidate time itself.  Sounds impossible anyway, right?  Well, only because it is. 

 Honestly, I don’t even need to consolidate time per se.  I just need for everything to take less time.  I need the coffee to brew faster, and I need the dryer to work faster.  I need writing a lesson plan to take ten minutes where it currently takes thirty.  I need for responding to emails to take five minutes where it currently takes ten.  I need for two minutes of petting my dogs to count for thirty.  I need to watch 60 Minutes in thirty.

Okay, scratch that.  I don’t watch 60 Minutes.  But if I did, I can assure you, I would need to do it faster.

It’s not that I can’t fit everything into my day because I really think I can.  I would just like to fit more into my day.  Remember the coffee I had time to brew?  I would like to drink it in a situation that doesn’t likely involve wearing it before I get my baby to daycare.  The shirt I “ironed” in the dryer?  I would like to have time to wear something else before the day is over.  Something that doesn’t say, “This is the only thing I could wear to work, and I don’t have time to do a second load of laundry, so relaxation comes in the form of a button-down shirt and panty hose.”  I am surely not the first person to say that relaxation and panty hose cannot safely be combined in the same sentence, let alone the same activity.

So here’s what I’ve learned: somethings have got to go.  I would love to now transition this blog into a helpful little ditty about how to consolidate your activities to get the most out of your day, but, sadly, I’m afraid that won’t be possible.  Like I said in the beginning, I’m learning, and I’ve only just finished identifying the problem.  Now I’m only one full-time maid, a chef, a chauffeur, and a doggy walker away from the solution!

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