For days I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen.
I’ll type a word, then delete it.
I’ll type a sentence, mull it over, write two more, then delete them too.
I’ll stand, stretch, snack– whatever– then return to the (mocking) pristine screen– where I’ll endlessly repeat the process. It’s 5:00 a.m. Even in absolute silence, even with a jumbo cup of coffee, I cannot craft a single sentence.
How did this happen? I’m a WRITER.
Well, I was until I inexplicably entered into this rut I just can’t seem to escape.
Perhaps it’s the stress– combine money woes with spousal friction with preschooler activity with Houston heat, and, well, writing is tough. Frankly, it’s the very last thing I want to be doing. And forget about inspiration.
I never thought I’d say that in relation to this, my heretofore fantasy, my work-at-home opportunity. Though infinitely better than my corporate days, working at home presents its own unique set of challenges; these days, finding a steady gig(s) is what keeps me awake at night or hammering at the keyboard while the rest of the house sleeps.
I spent all of last week (and the week before) submitting job proposals. To date I’ve received 0 (yes, zero) leads. Dear partner is constantly reminding me of our dwindling savings and my very sporadic income. The unwanted but ultimately necessary prospect of returning to the outside workforce looms ahead like an iceberg I’m trying desperately to avoid hitting. Dear daughter’s birthday is next week, and we have yet to plan, much less buy, anything … not that we believe in over-the-top extravagance, especially at age three, but we would like to get her a little something to celebrate.
But, hey, last week is last week. It’s Monday! New beginnings abound.
I’m visualizing flying fingers, formed characters, jobs flowing, and a fully-bound, completed manuscript.
Finally, inspiration has hit. Here’s to a wonderful, profitable week!
by Elisa Garcia