What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce…by Sandra Beck

Sandra Beck learns to sparkle!

Sandra Beck learns to sparkle!

by Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

First published September 29, 2009

I wrote this in support of my friend who is going through divorce. She encouraged me to post this for women who are going through the same process. This is meant to inspire women to be their best and do what they need to do for their families and is in no way meant as a dig to ex-husbands anywhere. But of course, if you choose to interpret it that way there’s not much I can do about it…lol!

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I could get through this process just like I got through every happy, miserable, delightful, soul shattering experience during my marriage.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that my kids were going to be introduced to a much stronger, healthier and powerful role model that would teach them through my actions how to weather any storm, take control of a difficult situation and know full well that they can survive anything because I am going to show them how every day.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I could hate my partner much more than I ever did when I was married and that it would take years for that absolute disgust to turn into pain then into pity and finally dissolve into nothingness.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I would meet myself again, feel younger than I had in years and no longer feel the burden of this heavy relationship where I could now focus on myself and my kids.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I would grow into the best possible shining version of myself once I waded through all the nonsense of divorce and that I would really like the person who came out of the storm.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I would leave this marriage without a shadow of a doubt that I could endure insults, injury, gossip and malicious intent but go to MY home now and recover and rebuild.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that everything I own is just stuff and that all that matters is the personal happiness and well being of myself and those I love.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I couldn’t erase all the hurt my children endured and would endure, but that I could comfort them, guide them and teach them things that would help them in their own relationships.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I was signing our ticket to freedom – freedom to live, laugh and love without reservation – on my own terms, on my own timeframe and in my own way.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was that I was not a failure who failed at marriage but a strong, empowered mother who was doing what was best for the family as a whole.

What I wish I knew as I filed for divorce was how utterly broken I felt inside, scared, alone and afraid – but I didn’t need to be because there are friends, family, and God to hold your hand every step of the way.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it…and may you find comfort, inspiration and empowerment through these words. Much love and hugs to all who follow me down this path, to reach Sandra Beck call 310-424-5324 or email her at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com. SHe can be heard on her three shows weekly at http://www.toginet.com where she is a radio host for military mom talk radio, motherhood talk radio and powered up with beck and franklin.

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