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Critical Factors for Raising an Empowered Child: Teaching Children About Death by Susan Haid, Lilys Truth

By Susan Haid

swingTeaching children about death depends of course on what you believe about death yourself. This article is based on my own personal experience with death and how I have handled the subject with my own children. These recommendations are for parents and caregivers who believe in the eternal nature of the soul. These recommendations are for those who want to change the old viewpoint of death replacing it with a new and enlightened understanding of what death really is. Ultimately, this is a gift to our children because they will have the opportunity to live, and die, peacefully without fear.
As the teachers of our children, death is something we must come to understand ourselves. It is critical that we move beyond the domain of “beliefs” into the realm of experience. We can teach our children what we believe or we can teach our children from the standpoint of our experience. There is no finer teacher than experience itself. All we ever really need is an open mind to receive pure, unadulterated knowledge.
Now, here we could get into a lengthy conversation about “consciousness” and how it is NOT confined by the human body. Consciousness can travel anywhere at any time and knows no limits. This can be experienced by anyone and everyone in a body or not in a body. So, what does this tell you about death? Maybe it implies that death is simply a change of focus so to speak. Now, some would say that the experience of consciousness is just product of the imagination. But for those of us who have played with journeys in consciousness, well, our experiences simply cannot be explained away. Our experiences go far beyond the realm of the imagination and are powerful lessons in the true nature of the soul. So, because of my own vast experience over the past 25 years, I laugh at the limited and controlled point-of-view that leads some people to deny the unlimited nature of our being. And if you need your own proof, I encourage you to seek and you will find.
This brings us back to the very basic lessons we give our children about death. Based on this very brief conversation, this is what we can teach our kids:

Lesson Number 1: Death is not an end to life, it is a continuation of life. As all scientists know, energy never dies it simply changes form. We never die, we simply change form.

Lesson Number 2: We are not just human beings, we are Consciousness Beings. Consciousness is not confined to the human body. It can move anywhere at any time. Death is a release of Consciousness from the human body only. This is all death really is…much like taking off your heavy winter coat and walking from one room to another. And remember that Consciousness is Unlimited. There are many amazing implications to being an Unlimited Being. Children are not yet locked down within the trap of limited belief systems…let them live freely and openly with very simple information that supports the truth of their existence and life experience. There is just no need for oppressing, complex teachings.

Lesson Number 3: Our reality is defined by our beliefs. Let us give our children the greatest gift of all by releasing all fear teachings about judgment and condemnation associated with death. These are very old beliefs that are based upon control. In my humble opinion, it is a violation of the pureness of a child to impose fear, judgment and condemnation into the heart of a child. And how can any person die in peace with any dignity whatsoever when they are filled with guilt, fear and shame? For many of us, COMPASSION is the single most important teaching we can engender in our children. When compassion is rooted firmly in the heart of any person, there is truly no need for teachings based upon fear, shame, guilt and control. I have three loving, kind and generous children. I speak from experience.

Death is a part of life. In our family, we have experienced the transition of those who were very, very old and those who where very, very young. Death is never an easy event to face. But death is something we can experience through new eyes in a new way. Death can be experienced with dignity, honor and sweet celebration of the life lived. What is never to be forgotten is that death in not a final goodbye, it is simply a change of residence.

For more exciting information about raising empowered children, Lily’s Truth, or Susan A. Haid, visit www.lilystruth.com. What’s Your Truth? Take the journey…

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Continuity Between Me, the Nanny, My Parents and the Babysitter, by Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

 

By Sandra Beck

 

My nanny lets the children eat in front of the TV. I don’ t. In the early days it caused countless rows. My nanny would babysit a few hours – and I’d return to my daughter sitting in front of cartoons with her dummy and a lap tray of Sweet Shopsnacks. “It’s not even that I begrudge her the junk food.” I’d say, exasperated “But she doesn’t stop nagging me for TV and cookies for two days afterwards”.  It was infuriating to see my precious, carefully constructed edifice of healthy parenting being cheerfully dismantled.

 

It’s a version of a fault-line that threatens to undermine many otherwise good childcare arrangements. At its heart is a very revealing question: are you looking for a carbon-copy of you to care for your child?

 

My argument was that toddlers in particular thrive on consistency. They like to be able to understand the rules of their world. It’s unfair for behavior to get a laugh in some circumstances and get punished in other circumstances.

 

On the other hand,  I think that the variety of personalities and approaches that my daughter has been exposed to balances her experience.  I was a bit shocked when one of the nursery-workers put nail varnish on my friend’s 3 year old daughter. However, objectively, I can see that her daughters yearning for pink and frilly far exceeds her mother’s ‘girliness’. A little bit of something sparkly on her nails helps her bond with her caregivers, and gives her some new input into her developing sense of individuality.

 

Here more than anywhere, it’s crucial to pick your battles. Car seats, holding hands across the roads, choking hazards – I repeat my messages emphatically again and again. However, this needs to be balanced with – frankly – not becoming a control freak. The childcare you choose is presumably competent, well intentioned and loving. Following too many of your rules ‘to the letter’ might actually thwart them in expressing their innate initiative and sparkle.

 

As my sons get older it has got easier with the grandparents, babysitters and nannies. “But Muuuum, Nana lets me” gets cut off with a brusuqe “Nana rules, darling. Now it’s Mummy rules”. I’ve become more secure that it’s my approach that sets the foundations for her. I’ve now mellowed to see that an afternoon eating chocolate sauce from the jar in front of cartoons is simply a holiday.

 

www.sandrabeck.com

www.motherhoodincorporated.com

 

Tags: Working Mothers, Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated, www.sandrabeck.com, www.motherhoodincorporated.com, juggling working motherhood, working mom, working mother, busy mom, caregiver expectations, mom’s rules, mom and grandma fight over kids rules