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Baby Time by Deb Gillespie

I have just returned from a wonderful trip to California where I visited my daughter, sister and two year old niece, Siena. It’s been a while since I have spent time with a child this young. I loved every moment of it. Basically, we spent two weeks on baby time, which is perfect for me. It means living in the now, in the present moment. I got right down on the floor with her and played pretend house and school and whatever else she wanted to play in each moment.

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I found myself singing, dancing, and laughing often. We sang in the car, we sang in the street. California is big on farmer’s markets. We visited an amazing market in one of the suberbs of San Jose. I believe they call it, downtown Campbell. There was what looked like a homeless man playing the guitar. He was singing a Greatful Dead song. One that my sister, Anita and I loved. So we started dancing and singing the words to the song at the tops of our lungs. Anita was holding Siena in her arms. Siena was obviously enjoying all of this. Suddenly, my sister and I found ourselves looking at each other. We started to laugh, the words of the song became very inappropriate for a two year old. But what to do? We just continued to sing along as if nothing was wrong.

By Deb Gillespie

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Where there is energy there is power, by Deb Gillespie, Motherhood Incorporated

by Deb Gillespie

When do we give up on our dreams? Somewhere along the journey, many of us give up on our childhood dreams. Remember when we were young and we pretended to be actors or super heroes? We were so excited about our future goals of being writers or even the president. And now what are we doing? At what point do we give up on our dreams ? Do they become unrealistic and just pie in the sky illusions far out of our reach?

I have asked myself these questions at many different points in my life. Of course we have to make a living and support our families and deal with life’s many challenges along the way. Sometimes we come to crossroads where we are given opportunities to make changes. It is at these moments where there may be space created to review our current life’s directions and where we are focusing our energy.

Where there is energy there is power. Take a moment to analyze where your energy is strongest. What gets you exited in life? Where is your passion? Is there any way to channel this energy into creating new oppurtinities for yourself? Can you take back your dream? Are we really as limited as we thought we were, or are we limitless and boundless spirits with the ability to create and live out our dreams?

www.debgillespie.com

When do we stop dreaming? By Deb Gillespie

I’m in California visiting with my daughter and her boyfriend this week. They are both 21 years old and are renting a little house together. They work hard to scrape up enough money to pay rent and their other expenses. I’ve been having conversations with her boyfriend’s mom around trying to convince them to take some college courses. The two of them do not have college degrees and are working for just over minimum wage. They are bright kids who were not ready for college right after high school but are starting to see what life is like without a degree.

Discussions have surfaced around thoughts of pursuing dreams versus studying something that you don’t actually have a passion in. Brandon loves to skateboard and he is actually very talented, but chances of making a living at it are slim. And Samantha is a gifted writer. Then again, should I try to persuade her to a career in something more stable such as teaching?

It is a tough thing to do to squash your kids’ dreams and persuade them against following their heart. There has to be another way.  I still don’t have the answers after all these years. I remember when my kids were little. They used to pretend that they were actors or super heroes. The sky was the limit back then. Now how am I supposed to tell them that this is no longer true for them, or is it?  Am I supposed to tell them that they should no longer follow their passions? Is isn’t true that where there is energy there is power? If the energy is alive and focused toward their passions, shouldn’t that be where they should be? Being the mom, I have a lot of influence over their decisions. I don’t want to be the one to squash their dreams. I always tell my kids that I am their biggest fan. This will always be true no matter what they end up doing in life.

By Deb Gillespie

Gone, Baby Gone by Deb Gillespie

Booked a flight to California, heading out this weekend, I can’t wait. I’m going to see my daughter, Sam. It’s been a long time coming, too long. Last time I saw her was this past July. She flew across the country to say good bye to her grandpa. It was a short visit, and as you can imagine, not a very joyful one.

 

My daughter will be turning 21. Yippee! I could never have envisioned that she would be living so far away from me, and that I would only see her twice a year. I really thought that she would always be there, that I could see her anytime that I wanted. I knew that she would be going off to college. But I never thought that she would settle down so far out of reach. And to make matters worse, she doesn’t have a land line, and her cell phone plan has limited minutes. And with me living in Canada, well, let’s just say we are not able to talk on the phone very much. If I talk to her once every two weeks, I consider myself lucky.

 

This past Christmas was the first Christmas that we did not spend together. It was painful for me. I saw photos, seems as though she enjoyed herself. I am happy for that.

 

It’s tough, this letting go, accepting what is. I’m doing it because I don’t have much of a choice. But this was not my plan. It’s life’s plan. And I’m realizing that I have to learn to accept life’s plans. I don’t have to always like it, but I do have to learn how to accept what is.

 

By Deb Gillespie

Stealing babies by Deb Gillespie

I remember when my kids were still at home with me, and I kept telling all my friends I can’t wait for them to be gone.  I am not going to have any of that empty nest syndrome.  I won’t miss them at all.  I have such a full life; my work, my friends and tons of activities.  But to my surprise now that they are both gone out of the house, I find myself missing them both dearly.  Strangely, when I’m walking down the street and I see a little baby, I want to grab it and take it home with me.  Obviously I don’t do that!  I’m now 45 years old and asking myself; am I too old to have another one?  Sometimes I am serious in considering this.  

Although I do have a very full life,  I now finally get this “empty nest thing” even though I never thought it would happen to me.

Here I am……. waiting anxiously for my next call from the kids.  I feel like an addict waiting for my next fix. 

by Deb Gillespie