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Burning Daylight, by Sandra Beck, Military Mom Talk Radio

One time I was sitting in a leadership seminar and the Commander teaching the course looked directly at me.  “You have the same 24 hours in day as me- What are you doing with your time?”

I thought about what he said. I thought about how I was actually thinking if Batman paired up with Superman and Wonder Woman with their 70s technology who could they defeat in present day? Will Smith in Independence Day? The Bourne Guys? Tom Cruise in MI 1 maybe but definitely not 3. What a colossal waste of my brain that discussion was regarding super heroes. But I was smart enough not to answer the question truthfully.

I did take away the 24 hour rule. I thought about how many times my USMC buddy would run behind me when we would train yelling “C’mon Beck! We’re burning daylight, Girl move!!!”  I would run faster but it didn’t hit me until recently that I have a choice in how I spend my day. I really never thought that being a full time working single mom with two active elementary school age kids.  It was always do, do, do…go, go, go…but where was I going? And I mean personally, not to the grocery store to collect the endless gallons of milk that seem to stream through my children.

I look back at all that I have accomplished. I’ve written books. I’ve hosted a radio show for three years.  I have built charities from the ground up. I have raised my boys to grow into great leaders of men and women. But at the end of the day, if you ask me what I have gotten the most satisfaction from it’s an easy answer. I get a true heartfelt joy from serving my country in my own way with my own skills.  In serving my country I am serving my family, my friends and the country I love.

Did I fight in a war? Nope.  I am a flag waving civilian? Yes.  Do I make a difference…? Absolutely! You see I wrote this article because I have a great friend who was bounced out of the Army on a MEPS error. Because he’s not behind the barrel of a gun, or in uniform or pounding the ground he doesn’t think he can serve his country.

I am here to state clearly that there are many ways to serve and not one is better than another in the hearts of men and women – it’s the difference we make at the end of the day.  Today I ask you – you’re burning daylight…you have the same 24 hours as me….what are you doing with your time?

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio a show dedicated to bringing issues, solutions and up to date information to our Military Families.  Mondays 2pm PST on Toginet.com. Also available for free on Itunes.  Sandra Beck is a writer for MilitaryConnection and a member of VAMBOA and Military Writer’s Society of America This Article appeared on http://www.militaryconnection.com.

Never, Never Quit – PTSD by Sandra Beck, Military Mom Talk Radio

I am not a psychologist or a therapist. I have no medical training whatsoever. What I have done is talk to experts and read their books and reports regarding Post Traumatic Stress – whether you add the D as in Disorder or not – it sucks.  And PTDS sucks for the whole family – including friends and coworkers.

To the best of my understanding, what I see from the cheap seats is everyone I have talked to and their family members who have shared with me their experiences with deployment is that everyone who serves comes back different.  Is this because of a label like PTSD? Is this just a normal human reaction to the abnormal experience of War? Probably a little bit of both with some additional trauma thrown in.

I don’t know how we ever expected people to be the same coming back after a combat experience. We change after we go to college. We change after we find religion. We change every time we experience something new.  Some changes are for the better. Some changes are for the worse.

All I know is that what I hear on the air and off the air that when people come back they are different. Some differences are extreme and some are traumatic for everyone involved.  Some differences suffer in silence. I have also understood from many service members that they are different after every deployment. I guess I can sum it up in a few words- after every deployment everyone including the service member and their family and friends must adjust to a new normal.

PTSD/PTS is real and it’s here to stay.  The more we accept it as an expected I believe the faster we can get services to the people who really need it. I believe the faster we remove the stigma from this, the faster we can raise awareness, help those affected and move forward with what we all need.

I also learned from my experiences that PTSD/PTS is much like the word cancer. It covers just a huge spectrum of situations.  I have also heard about treatments that span the same spectrum. They are as wide and varied as the diagnosis itself. My advice from a completely un-medical perspective:

Do what works. Use your head but be open to new things – remember no one ever died from an open mind. Stop what doesn’t or makes it worse. You served our country. You are oue hero. You are valuable and we need you here. Keep trying until you figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself and never, never quit.

Sandra Beck is the host of Military Mom Talk Radio a show dedicated to bringing issues, solutions and up to date information to our Military Families.  Mondays 2pm PST on Toginet.com. Also available for free on Itunes.  Sandra Beck is a writer for MilitaryConnection and a member of VAMBOA and Military Writer’s Society of America This Article appeared on http://www.militaryconnection.com.

Motherhood Talk Radio hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson presents Danee Kiernan Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch July 12

Motherhood Talk Radio hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly, and Rick Swanson welcomes Danee Kiernan Bouncing with Style: Starting over but Not From Scratch.

Motherhood Talk Radio, Motherhood Incorporated, Sandra Beck, Rick Swanson, Christy Holly, Mom Talk Radio, Mommy Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Moms, Embracing Motherhood, Motherhood Radio, Parenting Talk Radio, Parent Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Parents, Embracing Parenthood, Parent Radio, Mom Radio, Mommy Radio, Woman Talk Radio, Women Talk Radio, Women’s Issues Talk Radio, Women’s Health Talk Radio, Work At Home Mom Talk Radio, Women Power Talk Radio, Smart Women Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy, Los Angeles Talk Radio, California Talk Radio, Dating Advice Talk Radio, Marriage Advice Talk Radio, Divorce Advice Talk Radio, Wedding Advice Talk Radio, Relationship Advice Talk Radio, Free advice on dating, free advice on marriage, free advice on divorce, free advice on weddings, free advice on relationships, free relationship advice, women’s issues shows, women’s issue show, talk radio los angeles, free cooking advice, cooking talk radio, family matters, advice for families, free advice for families, free adoption advice, advocate for women, crafting for moms, mommy crafts, beading, care packages for soldiers, child adoption services, empowerment thinking, optimal thinking, culture building, diversity training, eldercare talk radio, nutrition talk radio, fit to strip challenge, friend ship talk radio, girlfriend talk radio, girlfriend advice on dating, girlfriend advice on marriage, girlfriend advice on wedding, girlfriend advice on relationship, stupid diet guy on dating, stupid diet guy on marriage, stupid diet guy on divorce, stupid diet guy on weddings, stupid diet guy on relationships, pet health care, pet health insurance, Zestra, SempraeAs an author, speaker, parent and entrepreneur, Danee Kiernan enjoys her busy life as much as she enjoys sharing stories of the heart with others.  Whether she is writing, conversing one on one, or presenting to a large group, Danee shares her belief that destiny is a matter of choice, not chance. Her strategies for emotional survival, personal empowerment and engagement in life, stem from not only her own experiences, but also the life journeys shared by others along the way.

 

Danee Kiernan is the co-author of Bouncing with Style.  In this project, Danee Kiernan and Sandra Beck partner to share their discovery of stepping stones and successful strategies from women who have experienced hardship and traveled the road to recovery with conviction and confidence.  The result is a culmination of real life recommendations designed to help others navigate life’s challenges with grace and style.  

 

Danee Kiernan is the owner of Aris Partners, Inc., an executive recruiting firm and Tablefor14, an adoption advocacy group.  As an advocate for the rights of women and children, Danee Kiernan supports Heifer International, Children Uniting Nations, World of Children, FRUA (Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption), LAAF (Latin American Adoptive Families), Voices United as well as other organizations committed to the well being of women and children. 

 

Danee Kiernan makes her home in Wisconsin, where she and husband Jim, are thoroughly enjoying the experience of raising their 12 children.  She earned a Bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education from Iowa Wesleyan College and MBA from the University of Wisconsin.

 

You can reach Danee Kiernan at daneekiernan@gmail.com

 

Motherhood Talk Radio is co-hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson, hosted by Toginet Radio and powered by Motherhood Incorporated.  Motherhood Talk Radio would like to thank our guest who have spoken with respect to motherhood on the following topics: women’s issues, parenting, relationship advice, personal growth, divorce, marriage, dating, weddings, relationships, health care, pet health, crafting, beading, relationship advice, cooking, family matters, care packages for soldiers, nutrition, child adoption, children with brain injuries, children’s advocacy, autism, cancer, eldercare issues, child care issues, personal growth and parenting issues.

Motherhood Talk Radio hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson present Kerika Fields, author of He’s Gone, You’re Back!

Motherhood Talk Radio hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly, and Rick Swanson, welcomes Kerika Fields, author of He’s Gone, You’re Back!

Motherhood Talk Radio, Motherhood Incorporated, Sandra Beck, Rick Swanson, Christy Holly, Mom Talk Radio, Mommy Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Moms, Embracing Motherhood, Motherhood Radio, Parenting Talk Radio, Parent Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Parents, Embracing Parenthood, Parent Radio, Mom Radio, Mommy Radio, Woman Talk Radio, Women Talk Radio, Women’s Issues Talk Radio, Women’s Health Talk Radio, Work At Home Mom Talk Radio, Women Power Talk Radio, Smart Women Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy, Los Angeles Talk Radio, California Talk Radio, Dating Advice Talk Radio, Marriage Advice Talk Radio, Divorce Advice Talk Radio, Wedding Advice Talk Radio, Relationship Advice Talk Radio, Free advice on dating, free advice on marriage, free advice on divorce, free advice on weddings, free advice on relationships, free relationship advice, women’s issues shows, women’s issue show, talk radio los angeles, free cooking advice, cooking talk radio, family matters, advice for families, free advice for families, free adoption advice, advocate for women, crafting for moms, mommy crafts, beading, care packages for soldiers, child adoption services, empowerment thinking, optimal thinking, culture building, diversity training, eldercare talk radio, nutrition talk radio, fit to strip challenge, friend ship talk radio, girlfriend talk radio, girlfriend advice on dating, girlfriend advice on marriage, girlfriend advice on wedding, girlfriend advice on relationship, stupid diet guy on dating, stupid diet guy on marriage, stupid diet guy on divorce, stupid diet guy on weddings, stupid diet guy on relationships, pet health care, pet health insurance, Zestra, Semprae

For over fifteen years Kerika Fields worked as a Writer and Event Photographer in NYC, having her articles and images published in The Amsterdam News, BELLE Magazine, Black Elegance, Black Issues Book Review, Caribbean Life, City and Suburban StylesThe Daily News, Savoy, The Source, Spice!, Variety and Vibe.

Finally, after a terrible yet transformative breakup, she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a published author and wrote “He’s Gone…You’re Back!” while raising her daughter inBrooklyn,NY. Her hard-earned life lessons are on the pages for you, with the implicit purpose of helping you realize your dreams, reach your full potential, and love yourself dynamically despite relationship disappointments and setbacks.

 In fact, it is Kerika’s philosophy that a breakup can be a transformative time as it encourages self reflection, growth and the freedom to be fearless  when it comes to relationships and all other aspects of your life. It worked for Kerika! After her breakup she started the ARRC Foundation with her family, finally finished her undergraduate degree, and wrote this book. Since the book’s publication, she has gone on to become a sought after relationship expert appearing on The Tom Joyner Morning Show, Foz and Tina in the Morning, Drive Time Live with Lady K, and Khloe Kardashian’s Khloe After Dark.

“I was inspired to write this book because I looked around at the books about breakups–the funny books, the sad books, the witty books, the edgy books–but there were no holistic books on breakups. And so I went ahead and wrote a holistic book on break ups that I think happens to be funny, sad, witty and a little edgy, too! My book’s information and insight will show readers how to let go of past pain and move forward with their lives in positive and productive ways.”

 Check out www.kerikafields.com.

Motherhood Talk Radio is co-hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson, hosted by Toginet Radio and powered by Motherhood Incorporated.  Motherhood Talk Radio would like to thank our guest who have spoken with respect to motherhood on the following topics: women’s issues, parenting, relationship advice, personal growth, divorce, marriage, dating, weddings, relationships, health care, pet health, crafting, beading, relationship advice, cooking, family matters, care packages for soldiers, nutrition, child adoption, children with brain injuries, children’s advocacy, autism, cancer, eldercare issues, child care issues, personal growth and parenting issues.

Motherhood Talk Radio hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson present Linda Franklin of the Real Cougar Woman

Motherhood Talk Radio, Motherhood Incorporated, Sandra Beck, Rick Swanson, Christy Holly, Mom Talk Radio, Mommy Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Moms, Embracing Motherhood, Motherhood Radio, Parenting Talk Radio, Parent Talk Radio, Talk Radio for Parents, Embracing Parenthood, Parent Radio, Mom Radio, Mommy Radio, Woman Talk Radio, Women Talk Radio, Women’s Issues Talk Radio, Women’s Health Talk Radio, Work At Home Mom Talk Radio, Women Power Talk Radio, Smart Women Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy Talk Radio, Stupid Diet Guy, Los Angeles Talk Radio, California Talk Radio, Dating Advice Talk Radio, Marriage Advice Talk Radio, Divorce Advice Talk Radio, Wedding Advice Talk Radio, Relationship Advice Talk Radio, Free advice on dating, free advice on marriage, free advice on divorce, free advice on weddings, free advice on relationships, free relationship advice, women’s issues shows, women’s issue show, talk radio los angeles, free cooking advice, cooking talk radio, family matters, advice for families, free advice for families, free adoption advice, advocate for women, crafting for moms, mommy crafts, beading, care packages for soldiers, child adoption services, empowerment thinking, optimal thinking, culture building, diversity training, eldercare talk radio, nutrition talk radio, fit to strip challenge, friend ship talk radio, girlfriend talk radio, girlfriend advice on dating, girlfriend advice on marriage, girlfriend advice on wedding, girlfriend advice on relationship, stupid diet guy on dating, stupid diet guy on marriage, stupid diet guy on divorce, stupid diet guy on weddings, stupid diet guy on relationships, pet health care, pet health insurance. The Real Cougar Woman is a 5-carat diamond with each of the 5-carats representing an essential facet of her life.   The 5-carats are:  health, beauty, relationships, finance and spirituality. Achieving clarity in all 5 carats insures she will shine just like a perfect-cut diamond.

The Real Cougar woman realizes that she, and she alone, is responsible for everything in her life.   Just like an artist, she sits in front of a blank canvas every day and creates her reality. 

Being a 5-carat diamond allows her to be:

  • A woman who isn’t afraid to knock down walls and crash through glass ceilings.
  • A woman who adores men but refuses to be defined by the age of the man she chooses to be with.
  • A woman who goes inside herself for the answers.
  • A woman who knows how to keep her body healthy, her beauty radiant and her spiritual reservoir full.
  • A woman who puts financial freedom high on her priority list.

Linda retells her story, “Every woman, whether she realizes it or not, has a Real Cougar just waiting to be unleashed. Living your life as a smart, sexy, independent woman is the best gift you can give yourself. So get over listening to what other people think you should do and start living the life you deserve.  This is the time to let go of your preconceived notions about aging, about sexuality, about beauty, about relationships with money, and give yourself permission to explore all of your possibilities. 

I know many women think that a cougar is a derogatory word used to describe women who  prefer younger men.  Nothing could be further from the truth. A Real Cougar, a term I coined in 2007, is any woman over 40 who is turned on and excited about life. 

The Real Cougar Woman is a fabulous female who is reconstructing the role of women today and will continue to do so for many years to come.

Achieving the rank of Real Cougar is a privilege, never an embarrassment.  You have worked hard to earn your stripes, so be proud to revel in your accomplishments.  For far too long, women over 40 have been pushed to the sidelines. You are mothers, business executives, entrepreneurs and teachers. You are a million things, but not the complete woman you have always wanted to be.  Now is the time to change all that.

Now is the time to realize your brilliance.  If not now – when?

I was born inToronto,Canada and moved toNew York Cityin my early twenties.  Never having finished college, I worked as a secretary because that’s all I thought I was qualified to do.  

Wall Street in the late 70’s was not a woman friendly environment but I used that to my advantage.  At age 28 I walked into my boss’s office and asked to work in the firm’s trading department.  He said yes, but it came with a very big caveat.  He said, “make it or be fired”.  That challenge made me determined to succeed and I did.  I was the first Canadian woman to own a seat on The New York Stock Exchange and then went on to manage this leading investment firm’s all male trading department.

Then at 48 my life changed drastically.  Due to a number of circumstances I decided to leave Wall Street.  That transition was a devastating blow to my psyche.  I didn’t realize how much of my identity I had attached to my work.  Retirement had never been a thought in my mind and I  had no idea of how to cope with not having a good reason to get up in the morning.  

When I could no longer stand wallowing in self pity, I made the conscious decision to take back my power and my life. Over the next two years, I went on a quest to find the answers that would help me with my relationships, maintaining a healthy body, looking fabulous, starting a new career and filling my spiritual reservoir.   That journey, as tough as it was, turned out to be a blessing.  It re-ignited my passion and allowed me to get excited about act two of my life.

Wanting to share what I had learned I started a blog.  People ask me all the time why I decided to call it the The Real Cougar Woman. 

It wasn’t planned – it just happened after I started to read a slew of unflattering articles about women over 40.  They were being called “cougars”, and portrayed as predators on the prowl for young men. This negative spin upset me and  I wanted to focus on the many virtues of real women not the media’s idea of women over 40.  So I coined the term Real Cougar as  my way of celebrating our age, our accomplishments, our independence, and our passion for life.  I make it clear that a Real Cougar refuses to be defined by the age of the man she chooses to be with.  Today, three years later I am still doing everything I can to make “cougar” a designer label that women all over the world are proud to wear.

My best selling book Don’t Ever Call Me Ma’am! – The Real Cougar Guidebook for Life After 40 is helping me to expand my message.  It has important information that every woman needs to read.  I have also included inspiring stories from other fabulous females that truly warmed my heart.  It let me know we are all together on this journey through time.

My newest initiative is “The Combat Cougars”. This is my outreach to support women in the military.  Like most worthwhile ventures it wasn’t planned.  After receiving emails from military women ‘combat cougars’ who felt empowered after reading my blog – the path seemed obvious.” 

Motherhood Talk Radio is co-hosted by Sandra Beck, Christy Holly and Rick Swanson, hosted by Toginet Radio and powered by Motherhood Incorporated.  Motherhood Talk Radio would like to thank our guest who have spoken with respect to motherhood on the following topics: women’s issues, parenting, relationship advice, personal growth, divorce, marriage, dating, weddings, relationships, health care, pet health, crafting, beading, relationship advice, cooking, family matters, care packages for soldiers, nutrition, child adoption, children with brain injuries, children’s advocacy, autism, cancer, eldercare issues, child care issues, personal growth and parenting issues.