I hate my home office! A Closet!

I wouldn’t even call it a home office. It’s a dark dingy closet in the back of my spare room where I stash my stuff away from kids. I am going to focus my energies on getting something published so I can get enough money to purchase a decent desk and a chair. My husband thinks I am crazy, but I think I can make a go of this virutal assistant job.  Since I didn’t have any start up costs and I don’t have to ask my husband for any money, I am going to try it and keep it quiet until some money comes in.  I need to do this for myself even more than I need the money. I need to use my brain. I need to feel I have more value than changing diapers and wiping the bathroom floors — not that there is anything wrong with this, but some days I feel really disconnected from the world.  I know that we are not supposed to be engaged in personal thing affecting who we are and how we feel about ourselves, but how am I supposed to feel positive, powerful and present in my own life when all I do is mop, wash, feed and clean. I love my kids, but I need to get out of my own life.  The twins are up so I have to go.  Anyone else feel like this?