Tag Archive | eBook author

Teaching Your Kids Responsability by Susan A. Haid, Lily's Truth

by Susan A. Haid

How long of a tether do you keep on your kids? The struggle for authority is an age-old dilemma. Who chooses? How much authority should we give our kids? Freedom is something we all need, yet how do we structure our lives so that we get what we need and our children have the appropriate setting in which to make their own choices, learn and grow?
As long as our kids are at home with us, there is a safety net beneath them. Certainly we want the most for our children. We want them to surpass our goals and achieve ones of their own. So we want them to grow. We want them to face challenges. As parents, where do we begin? How do we know what is appropriate, and how do we know exactly what our kids need to do to learn responsibility? This is a nagging question, and although there is no easy way through the parenting process, there are certain basic things we can do to help our kids become responsible adults.

Here are 5 basic strategies to help kids learn the basics:

1. Help kids develop knowledge of themselves and appreciation of their individuality. We must give our kids the freedom to choose which activities and interests they wish to explore. It is our job to facilitate their discovery of their individual and very personal interests by listening to who they are and what they tell us. This means we do not impose our interests and ideas upon them. After offering to them various different opportunities, we accept and support their choices without judgment.

2. Help kids take ownership of their choices. We need to look at every experience our kids have as an opportunity to cultivate self-understanding. This means that when our kids make choices for themselves, they learn to evaluate the consequences without judgment from us. This gives them time to figure out certain life lessons for themselves within the parameter of a safe setting. This is far more impactful that mere rhetoric from us. We are here to listen and offer support during this process. It is a tremendously valuable experience to let our kids make reasonable choices cradled within the opportunity to start over when things don’t turn out as anticipated.

3. Help kids learn how to manage their time. As parents, we help our kids to do this by setting forth our expectations of their responsibilities for the day (homework, athletic or music practice, chores etc.) and then allowing them to accomplish their duties independently, of course with a gentle reminder or two along the way. There should be reasonable consequences in place for failure to accomplish general expectations.

4. Help kids to accept their feelings without judgment. This starts with our ability to accept our own feelings without judgment. Our kids observe how we accept, experience and appropriately express our feelings. This gives them the standard for accepting and expressing their own feelings. Then, we must give our kids the space to appropriately feel their feelings without judgment. This gives our kids the beautiful knowledge about how to take responsibility for their own feelings when they are in a safe space to do so.

5. Help our kids to set their goals for the day, weeks or months ahead. We must set aside some time to listen to what our kids are hoping to experience in the days, week and months ahead. This gives us the opportunity to discuss what might be possible for our child to accomplish and experience with our help and support. This helps our kids learn how to take charge of their life by actively pursuing their developing interests by making them become a reality.

Setting forth strict and uncompassionate guidelines deprives our kids of their ultimate authority in the long run. Conversely, setting forth no guidelines whatsoever undermines the development of a child’s sense of authority and mastery over their life.
Let kids see the results of their own choices. Let them hear the impact of their own words. They must be able to experiment with the world before them.

Part 2 of this article coming soon! In the meantime, for more information about conscious parenting, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.

Take a Break and do a Fun/Accurate Personality Test by Nicole Ocean

I wanted to share with you something that I found to be very fun and enlightening. I took an online test a few days ago that was put together by a famous organization called, “Myer’s Briggs.” You may have heard of them and their fairly accurate and fun personality test that they offer. I remember first learning about this test while going to college and loved how the results of the test helped reveal a side of myself that I needed to know more about. 

It ends up that I was categorized as an, “ISFJ,” which translated means that I am, “Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging,” type of person. I was able to read a very in depth analysis about the positive and negative points within my personality. Boy, if I had only known about this test when I was younger, think of the trouble I could have saved myself!!! (I bet we all think this way from time to time about things that happened in our past though, so I guess it is part of living and learning. We’ve simply got to experience things in order to learn from them)

On a fun note, I had my boyfriend, Robert take the test. I would highly recommend to all of you to have your significant other take this test and then read up on the results of their personality category or classification. This exercise can take years of headache and confusion about understanding the tendencies of your loved ones personality traits. You can take your own personality test by going a free website that is at: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htmI hope that you enjoy the results of your test and wish you hours of fun from learning more about yourself and your loved ones! 

By: Nicole Ocean of nicolesdreams eBookswww.nicoleocean.comwww.motherhoodincorporated.com

My Simple List of Pros and Cons to Being My Own Boss by Nicole Ocean

April 28th, 2008

By Nicole Ocean

Some of the things that I like best about being my own boss are the flexibility I have over when and how I work. I absolutely love being able to wake up on a weekday and decide that I want to go do something fun instead of work that day. Of course I do this when all of my work is caught up and thus it feels like I am rewarding myself.

Along with the freedom of being able to call my own shots within all aspects of my business there are also some downsides to being my own boss. I find that it is difficult to limit the hours that I work. This translates into working on the weekends and at night. There have been times where I have gotten burnt out and needed to take a break for a few weeks. I can see the direct correlation between when I choose to work while my son is home and how this has hurt the quality of our relationship overall. I have learned that it is best for me and for my son to try to get as much work done while he is in school.

Some of the other things that are difficult to balance are in the need to put money aside from my self-employment earnings to pay for taxes at the beginning of the next year. I have been surprised with having to pay over $2,000 dollars in self-employment tax and decided that instead of paying it off right away that I would set up monthly payments where I could pay $100.00 dollars each month until it was paid off. Let’s face it; it is tough being a single-mother, let alone a mother. Then put on top of that tall list of responsibilities and duties, being your own boss. It is not for the faint of heart or those weak in conviction and perseverance.

By: Nicole Ocean of nicolesdreams eBooks www.nicoleocean.comwww.motherhoodincorporated.com

Ways To Boost Self-Esteem for Those of Us Who Work From Home by Nicole Ocean

As I mentioned earlier in one of my past blogs I am able to hang out and work in my pajamas. Heck why not?

Some of the effects or downsides of working from home that I have noticed affect me are:

The lack of opportunity to interact and socialize face to face with other people being more limited.

Experiencing an occasional hit that I make to my self-esteem when I find myself waiting to take a shower, get dressed (appropriately might I mention this means leaving the house without pajama bottoms, a night gown or taussled hair that resembles a rat’s net!) and ready for the day.

Plus, I sometimes feel as if I am not getting quite enough time for myself even though I work from home.

Now here are a few suggestions that I have put to use in how to combat moments of experiencing low-self esteem. Really when it comes down to it I feel honored and priviledged to be able to work from home. I just want to enjoy it long-term as much as I possibly can.

1. Do something nice for yourself everyday, in someway. Whether it be taking a walk around the neighborhood after lunch or going shopping for an item that you’ve had your eye on.

2. Set goals for yourself and your business. Once you have accomplished a few of them, reward yourself in some way that makes you feel good. As an example: stop by your local coffee house and get yourself a treat, or go do something that you have been putting off, but have been looking forward to doing. Make it a priority to reward yourself by making time to enjoy the things that bring you happiness!

3. Get inspired and go out of your way to DRESS UP. I know you might be saying, “I work from home, where no one sees me. So what’s the point?” The point is that it will help you feel better about yourself and may even carry over into your daily attitude that you bring to your business. (I do this a few times a week and it helps me feel good about myself and I am able to make my own rules about dress code, that feels great!)

4. Take a few breaks throughout your day to do something fun! One of my favorite things to do is to play a few songs from my favorite artist and dance around to help blow off some steam, get some exercise and get a chance to get up from my desk to help give my body a break.

5. Lastly, research any hobbies, groups or clubs that you might be interested in joining and take a break from your work day to go to one of those meetings. This will fulfill all of the above items as well!

Do you have any helpful suggestions on this topic that work best for you?

By Nicole Ocean of nicolesdreams eBooks



A Super Classy Way to Remember any Special Occasion by Nicole Ocean

I was just sending out a special message to a loved one (an anniversary to be exact) and thought of what a good idea it would be to share my favorite way to remember people’s special occasions.

I came across e-cards years ago and I to this day I still send them. I use a free website called Hallmark.com. I am sure that you most of you have heard of it and may are familiar with receiving an e-card of two!

My suggestion would be to set up reminders for yourself by placing a note on your calendar of the special occasions that you want to remember and even if you end up giving someone a physical gift, also sending an e-card is always such a great way to express yourself. Plus, anytime I have received an e-card I feel all warm and fuzzy about getting it, especially if it was it made a special message attached to it!

Some of the benefits to sending an e-card is that it is unique (especially if you pick out an e-card that is a good fit for the person you are sending it to and it matches the occasion that you are wanting to share in), it is FREE ( I should have put that in there first!!) , you can set the date you want it sent (so you can go in once and set up all of the upcoming special occasions you have for the year and get them done in one fell swoop,) and lastly it gets sent automatically to the person you want to receive it, with nothing more for you to do!

So the next time you want to do something different to show someone that you remember them, want to thank them or that you are just plain thinking of them. send them an e-card.

By Nicole Ocean of nicolesdreams eBooks