Tag Archive | empowerment for kids

Critical Factors for Raising an Empowered Child: Teaching Children About Authority; A Lesson in Self-Knowledge by Susan Haid, Lily's Truth

by Susan Haid

What do we teach our children about authority?

What do we teach our children about authority?

There are several simple but critically important keys for raising empowered children. We can give our kids the tools they need, starting at a very young age. These tools will empower them throughout their lives as they grow, yet they are core values that will evolve more fully as time passes. Let me first state that by core values, I am referring to values that develop and mature from within the child and are not imposed upon the child from the outside. The point is to nurture the growth of concrete navigational equipment that is rooted from within the child and stems from the child’s own personal life experience. This will result in a powerful form of self- knowledge, otherwise referred to here as “authority,” that is ultimately deeply empowering because it is the result of actual life experience. There is no better teacher than experience itself.
There are 17 basic fundamental concepts to begin with. In this article, I will be addressing the first key concept which is “authority.” For kids, this can be a confusing subject depending on the information they are given. The bottom line, if we are to cultivate empowerment within a child, is that we must support our children in developing their innate understanding of themselves, who they are, what they think, what they feel, and what they believe. By this, I mean that we must help our children to understand themselves from the inside out first, rather than imposing concepts upon them from the outside. We must help our children not only to understand but also respect what they think, feel and believe about their life experiences. As parents, we must help our children learn to trust their feelings, instincts, thoughts and reactions. If we separate our kids from this basic and often protective information, we have unwittingly initiated their path of separation from themselves and their consequent ability to move through life in a way that is constructive and healthy.
We must become very good listeners who can listen without judgment. First and foremost, we must listen to, honor and respect the thoughts and feelings of our children. Why is this so important? You see, as a child tells us their story, our listening without imposing judgment or giving advice acknowledges the individuality of their experience and validates and values their thoughts and feelings. This allows the child’s own discovery process to unfold. This allows the child’s problem-solving abilities to develop. And most potently, this allows the child to remain fully connected to their innate and natural abilities to trust their own feelings, ideas, instincts and consequent decisions about their life experiences. This supports the development of a core value system that will be difficult to challenge because it comes from within and is based on personal, real world knowledge.
How important is this key concept of self-knowledge and authority? It is critical. By supporting kids in developing self-knowledge, we help them cut through the confusion. Confusion is based in having to weigh and balance who they truly are with who they feel they are supposed to be. There is only one true answer. In addition, often along with the development of self-understanding comes compassion, and what more valuable “core value” is true and abiding compassion?

As parents, we can give our children the confidence to trust themselves in any situation by nuturing their innate ability to choose what is compassionate for themselves and others. This eliminates the possiblility of selfish, self-serving behavior yet honors each person’s right to choose for themselves. This also leads to the development of inner clarity so that abusive people and situations are seen for what they truly are.

This is true authority. It has absolutely nothing to do with the concept of power, and this is the type of guidance our children need to live healthy, happy, fulfilling lives.

For more helpful information about building authority within children, visit http://www.lilystruth.com where you will find more exciting and supportive details.

Teaching Children Responsibility, Pt 2, By Susan Haid, Lily's Truth

Here are five tips to teach kids how to take responsibility around the home and for their developing lives.

1. Help kids learn how to organize and manage their belongings.  We need to require that our kids clean their rooms, make their beds, put their own laundry away, keep track of their homework and school projects, sports gear, musical instruments and so on. Once in a while, we can give them a hand, but kids should know that they are the ones ultimately responsible for these duties.
2. Help kids become active contributors to life at home.  Every member of a home should contribute to the upkeep and management of the home. Age appropriate duties should be assigned to each family member, and once every week or two, the family should work together to accomplish these tasks. Duties such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, wiping down the countertops, raking leaves and even cooking are jobs kids of all ages can participate in. These duties give our kids the skills to become competent contributors as adults.
3. Help kids learn to set boundaries so they honor their own needs as well as respect the needs of others.  This is a fundamental lesson parents need to teach their kids. It’s OK in many circumstances to say no. We want our kids to stay in touch with what they may need and give them the skills to meet those needs. We also want our kids to be aware that everyone has the right to set boundaries when they are appropriate and necessary. This is a basic life skill.
4. Help kids learn to be accepting of differences.  Having nonjudgmental conversations about the differences we encounter in the viewpoints, lifestyle, beliefs and ideas of others is a basic tenet of building a philosophy of acceptance and compassion in our kids. These are great conversations to have because they ultimately help our kids get clear about who they are, what they think and what they believe. This also means that our kids should have a safe place to express their individual viewpoint even if it is different from our own.
5. Help kids accept the outcome of their choices and create new ones.
It is the ultimate empowerment experience when kids make their own choices and have their own resulting experiences. As parents, of course we need to be aware of what our kids are choosing so that we can intervene if it is necessary to do so. Although it is often difficult to give up control, we simply can’t make every decision for our kids. This deprives them of their experiences, the consequences of which are far less during childhood compared to adulthood. As often as it is reasonable to give our kids the authority to make choices for themselves, we should do so and understand we are respecting their individuality, honoring their learning process and building their knowledge of and confidence in themselves.

These are basic requirements that have worked well in my home so far. I respect the rights of my children to live freely and happily. As their mother, I want my kids to have the skills to manage their lives very well without me or without the help of anyone else if they choose. I want to help my children become empowered and sovereign. By giving them reasonable responsibilities and expectations, I hope to provide them with the simple knowledge about how to successfully manage their own lives after they leave home. And ultimately, I want them to soar!

For more helpful information about empowering children, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.