Tag Archive | susan a. haid

Smokin' Hot Mama by Susan A. Haid, Lilys Truth

Smokin Hot Mama's Unite

Smokin Hot Mama's Unite

Over the past 46 years of my life, I have learned a thing or two about myself. There has been nothing extraordinary about me or my life circumstances. I am an ordinary woman who has lived an ordinary life. Well, except for the part of me that talks to dead people. But hey, other than that one little thing, I’m just a normal gal. That is another story for another time. In spite of my otherwise conventional life, I have come to a place where I can fully accept myself…all of me…the good, the bad, the ugly, the normal and the not-so-normal.

Although this might seem to be a natural evolution of maturity, it is actually a profound transformation that forever changes everything. What I now know is that a little bit of “crazy” can be a good thing, a very good thing indeed.
You see, when I started to live freely without self-judgment, then I started truly living. I no longer care about the full figure I am wearing at midlife. Instead, I can see my own beauty, even if society cannot. I wear clothes that are comfortable, flowing and lovely. I no longer worry about dieting. I concern myself only with joy, health and balance. Happiness certainly must be correlated with health and longevity, but I don’t need a scientific study to prove it. If I happen to die a premature death, I die a happy person. So there you are.
Later in life, I have taken up belly dancing, opera singing and painting just for the fun of it. I don’t expect to be very good at these things but I do have fun. At this point in life, having fun is, well, just so much more fun than being good. And I love that I don’t have any rules to follow…hmmm, when did the rules get to be so important anyway?
When I am with other people, I don’t care about anything other than just having a good time. In fact, my bottom line has become all about the fun factor. I now choose to be around people who can laugh and be merry, who are lighthearted and joyful, and yes, who can party like there is no tomorrow. Although it may be irreverent, I can laugh at almost anything. After throwing a party, I chuckle at the number of wine bottles in my recycle bin.
I love to be with people who are accepting and free-spirited. I seek out friends who have no need or desire to view the world through the eyes of judgment and control. I believe in progress through conscious awareness but not through moral condemnation. The one thing I still need to work on is my acceptance of self-righteous, condemning people; I avoid them like the plague and have not found my peace within their presence as of yet. In fact, these folks irritate me more than anyone else, at least for now. In spite of my overall Zen demeanor, these types still cause me to bristle. But my new, enlightened strategy is to find a way to joke about it. My current irritations are great fodder for some very funny stuff as you might imagine; humor really does diffuse the irritation.
I engage in conversations freely and openly, no longer worrying about what I might say. I am authentic and true to myself. I try to laugh as much as possible whenever and wherever possible. I am serious by nature, but I am learning the art of living with grand humor. I have learned to laugh at myself, and OMG, I am hilarious.
It no longer matters to me that my kids are not the most well-behaved children on the block or may not get the best grades. What matters to me is that they are learning through their own experience and cultivating their own brand of wisdom of which self-acceptance is a part. In liberating myself, I have unwittingly liberated my children. This alone is profound and very blessed.
I don’t worry about morality because that is just another form of judgment and control. Instead I live by my one cardinal rule which is Compassion. My life became very simple and unencumbered when I finally let go of all my silly judgments and rules. I didn’t suddenly become wildly reckless and outrageously irresponsible as a result. I have become instead deeply loving and accepting of all people and all ways of living. This also helped me see the world quite clearly. Mostly, I can feel my own joy, and it feels really, really good.
In my past life, I had a perfect body, a gorgeous face and lots of attention from men (not to mention a whole boatload of repression). Today, what really tickles my fancy is that it is no longer the men who tell me that I’m sexy, it’s the women. I have had many women blurt out that they think I’m sexy, and I can assure you that there is nothing about me that meets our cultural standard of “sexy.” I am full-figured, fine-lined, stretch-marked, saggy, baggy and perfectly, ecstatically, joyfully happy. I have thrown my head back and laughed out loud more than once when told by a woman that I am sexy. However, what these women are sensing is an inner sexy that has nothing to do with superficial appearances.
I am wearing the look of genuine warmth, joy, peace and acceptance, and these attributes are monumentally magnetic in a world weary of surface appearances, masks and games. In telling my story, I am telling the story of liberation, acceptance, true happiness and lasting beauty that never ages, needs Botox or loses sex appeal. At midlife, I am one smokin’ hot mama.
If I am fortunate enough to become a smokin’ hot granny, I hope I am that ridiculous old gal who wears a rhinestone-encrusted cowboy hat, an oversized t-shirt and thigh-high vinyl boots when she dances for her lover. I hope I break a few ribs with extreme, insufferable, side-splitting laughter. I hope I have a few too many glasses of cabernet and way too much chocolate. I hope I love everyone I meet with shameless, furious, passionate abandon. I hope to become an eccentric old bird who didn’t waste a moment of her life on the things that don’t really matter. If I get my way, I have about 40 smokin’ hot years left, and there’s no good reason I can think of for turning back now.
Does this mean I am going to ride off naked into the sunset on a Harley? Maybe it does. And from now on, when you hear me counting calories, I am just figuring out how hot it’s getting in here. Oh, and can you pass me a fork? I’m digging in…

Critical Factors for Raising an Empowered Child: Teaching Children About Authority; A Lesson in Self-Knowledge by Susan Haid, Lily's Truth

by Susan Haid

What do we teach our children about authority?

What do we teach our children about authority?

There are several simple but critically important keys for raising empowered children. We can give our kids the tools they need, starting at a very young age. These tools will empower them throughout their lives as they grow, yet they are core values that will evolve more fully as time passes. Let me first state that by core values, I am referring to values that develop and mature from within the child and are not imposed upon the child from the outside. The point is to nurture the growth of concrete navigational equipment that is rooted from within the child and stems from the child’s own personal life experience. This will result in a powerful form of self- knowledge, otherwise referred to here as “authority,” that is ultimately deeply empowering because it is the result of actual life experience. There is no better teacher than experience itself.
There are 17 basic fundamental concepts to begin with. In this article, I will be addressing the first key concept which is “authority.” For kids, this can be a confusing subject depending on the information they are given. The bottom line, if we are to cultivate empowerment within a child, is that we must support our children in developing their innate understanding of themselves, who they are, what they think, what they feel, and what they believe. By this, I mean that we must help our children to understand themselves from the inside out first, rather than imposing concepts upon them from the outside. We must help our children not only to understand but also respect what they think, feel and believe about their life experiences. As parents, we must help our children learn to trust their feelings, instincts, thoughts and reactions. If we separate our kids from this basic and often protective information, we have unwittingly initiated their path of separation from themselves and their consequent ability to move through life in a way that is constructive and healthy.
We must become very good listeners who can listen without judgment. First and foremost, we must listen to, honor and respect the thoughts and feelings of our children. Why is this so important? You see, as a child tells us their story, our listening without imposing judgment or giving advice acknowledges the individuality of their experience and validates and values their thoughts and feelings. This allows the child’s own discovery process to unfold. This allows the child’s problem-solving abilities to develop. And most potently, this allows the child to remain fully connected to their innate and natural abilities to trust their own feelings, ideas, instincts and consequent decisions about their life experiences. This supports the development of a core value system that will be difficult to challenge because it comes from within and is based on personal, real world knowledge.
How important is this key concept of self-knowledge and authority? It is critical. By supporting kids in developing self-knowledge, we help them cut through the confusion. Confusion is based in having to weigh and balance who they truly are with who they feel they are supposed to be. There is only one true answer. In addition, often along with the development of self-understanding comes compassion, and what more valuable “core value” is true and abiding compassion?

As parents, we can give our children the confidence to trust themselves in any situation by nuturing their innate ability to choose what is compassionate for themselves and others. This eliminates the possiblility of selfish, self-serving behavior yet honors each person’s right to choose for themselves. This also leads to the development of inner clarity so that abusive people and situations are seen for what they truly are.

This is true authority. It has absolutely nothing to do with the concept of power, and this is the type of guidance our children need to live healthy, happy, fulfilling lives.

For more helpful information about building authority within children, visit http://www.lilystruth.com where you will find more exciting and supportive details.

Building Core Values in Children, By Susan Haid, Lily's Truth

by Susan Haid

Raising children to become conscientious, empowered, responsible and joyful adults who are in complete charge of their lives is what we strive for as parents. If you could give your kids the skills and the tools to do this, it is something you would do in without a second thought. I am going to be direct and to the point here. There is a course available to you now that can give you the resources to build core values in your children at home. You see, I began putting this information together over a decade ago when my first child was born. I wanted something different for my kids…something that would cut through the confusion and give them the knowledge to move through life with self-confidence, authority, faith and keen, razor-sharp clarity.
The nuts and bolts skills I offer came as a result of my own life experience. Although I am an educated woman, I believe that life experience is our ultimate teacher. I have put every ounce of wisdom I possess into my Core Values Home Course. I want life to be better for my kids and for yours, so I painstakingly set about distilling my experiences into practical knowledge for parents and their families. I have studied many spiritual paths over the course of my life and culminated my experience into very simple, all-encompassing basic lessons.

These are real world lessons with real world tools. I know that the information I have to offer you is valuable. I know this because once I understood these life lessons and put them to work in my own life with my own kids, our lives unfolded gently into a life of joy, fulfillment and empowerment. This material has helped and supported me and my children so completely that I am making it available to all families.
The course I have designed is called Lily’s Truth. There are 17 chapters that give clear, concise and complete information on these concepts:

1. Authority
2. Trust
3. Individuality
4. Standards
5. Communication
6. Rights
7. Faith
8. Beliefs
9. Passion
10. Commitment
11. Letting Go
12. Courage
13. Appreciation
14. Acceptance
15. Love
16. Peace
17. God Within All Life

The course is available as a DVD/CD multimedia package or as a book. This artful and beautiful 2- hour production comes complete with music, illustrations and narration. This project truly extends from my heart to yours. My intent is to make the journey through life easier for our kids than it has been for us. My intent also is to offer parents support in their job. This gift is for you, your children and your families.
Very soon, I will be offering a workshop that will teach the above skills through play via an exciting game for parents and kids alike. If you are interested in this workshop, contact me at my website for further details.
Finally, if you have any questions about this project, please contact me, Susan A. Haid, at contact@lilystruth.com. My website is www.lilystruth.com. I hope to hear from you, and I hope to continue to offer outstanding parenting products so that we can raise our children better than ever before.

Teaching Children Responsibility, Pt 2, By Susan Haid, Lily's Truth

Here are five tips to teach kids how to take responsibility around the home and for their developing lives.

1. Help kids learn how to organize and manage their belongings.  We need to require that our kids clean their rooms, make their beds, put their own laundry away, keep track of their homework and school projects, sports gear, musical instruments and so on. Once in a while, we can give them a hand, but kids should know that they are the ones ultimately responsible for these duties.
2. Help kids become active contributors to life at home.  Every member of a home should contribute to the upkeep and management of the home. Age appropriate duties should be assigned to each family member, and once every week or two, the family should work together to accomplish these tasks. Duties such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, wiping down the countertops, raking leaves and even cooking are jobs kids of all ages can participate in. These duties give our kids the skills to become competent contributors as adults.
3. Help kids learn to set boundaries so they honor their own needs as well as respect the needs of others.  This is a fundamental lesson parents need to teach their kids. It’s OK in many circumstances to say no. We want our kids to stay in touch with what they may need and give them the skills to meet those needs. We also want our kids to be aware that everyone has the right to set boundaries when they are appropriate and necessary. This is a basic life skill.
4. Help kids learn to be accepting of differences.  Having nonjudgmental conversations about the differences we encounter in the viewpoints, lifestyle, beliefs and ideas of others is a basic tenet of building a philosophy of acceptance and compassion in our kids. These are great conversations to have because they ultimately help our kids get clear about who they are, what they think and what they believe. This also means that our kids should have a safe place to express their individual viewpoint even if it is different from our own.
5. Help kids accept the outcome of their choices and create new ones.
It is the ultimate empowerment experience when kids make their own choices and have their own resulting experiences. As parents, of course we need to be aware of what our kids are choosing so that we can intervene if it is necessary to do so. Although it is often difficult to give up control, we simply can’t make every decision for our kids. This deprives them of their experiences, the consequences of which are far less during childhood compared to adulthood. As often as it is reasonable to give our kids the authority to make choices for themselves, we should do so and understand we are respecting their individuality, honoring their learning process and building their knowledge of and confidence in themselves.

These are basic requirements that have worked well in my home so far. I respect the rights of my children to live freely and happily. As their mother, I want my kids to have the skills to manage their lives very well without me or without the help of anyone else if they choose. I want to help my children become empowered and sovereign. By giving them reasonable responsibilities and expectations, I hope to provide them with the simple knowledge about how to successfully manage their own lives after they leave home. And ultimately, I want them to soar!

For more helpful information about empowering children, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Teaching Your Kids Responsability by Susan A. Haid, Lily's Truth

by Susan A. Haid

How long of a tether do you keep on your kids? The struggle for authority is an age-old dilemma. Who chooses? How much authority should we give our kids? Freedom is something we all need, yet how do we structure our lives so that we get what we need and our children have the appropriate setting in which to make their own choices, learn and grow?
As long as our kids are at home with us, there is a safety net beneath them. Certainly we want the most for our children. We want them to surpass our goals and achieve ones of their own. So we want them to grow. We want them to face challenges. As parents, where do we begin? How do we know what is appropriate, and how do we know exactly what our kids need to do to learn responsibility? This is a nagging question, and although there is no easy way through the parenting process, there are certain basic things we can do to help our kids become responsible adults.

Here are 5 basic strategies to help kids learn the basics:

1. Help kids develop knowledge of themselves and appreciation of their individuality. We must give our kids the freedom to choose which activities and interests they wish to explore. It is our job to facilitate their discovery of their individual and very personal interests by listening to who they are and what they tell us. This means we do not impose our interests and ideas upon them. After offering to them various different opportunities, we accept and support their choices without judgment.

2. Help kids take ownership of their choices. We need to look at every experience our kids have as an opportunity to cultivate self-understanding. This means that when our kids make choices for themselves, they learn to evaluate the consequences without judgment from us. This gives them time to figure out certain life lessons for themselves within the parameter of a safe setting. This is far more impactful that mere rhetoric from us. We are here to listen and offer support during this process. It is a tremendously valuable experience to let our kids make reasonable choices cradled within the opportunity to start over when things don’t turn out as anticipated.

3. Help kids learn how to manage their time. As parents, we help our kids to do this by setting forth our expectations of their responsibilities for the day (homework, athletic or music practice, chores etc.) and then allowing them to accomplish their duties independently, of course with a gentle reminder or two along the way. There should be reasonable consequences in place for failure to accomplish general expectations.

4. Help kids to accept their feelings without judgment. This starts with our ability to accept our own feelings without judgment. Our kids observe how we accept, experience and appropriately express our feelings. This gives them the standard for accepting and expressing their own feelings. Then, we must give our kids the space to appropriately feel their feelings without judgment. This gives our kids the beautiful knowledge about how to take responsibility for their own feelings when they are in a safe space to do so.

5. Help our kids to set their goals for the day, weeks or months ahead. We must set aside some time to listen to what our kids are hoping to experience in the days, week and months ahead. This gives us the opportunity to discuss what might be possible for our child to accomplish and experience with our help and support. This helps our kids learn how to take charge of their life by actively pursuing their developing interests by making them become a reality.

Setting forth strict and uncompassionate guidelines deprives our kids of their ultimate authority in the long run. Conversely, setting forth no guidelines whatsoever undermines the development of a child’s sense of authority and mastery over their life.
Let kids see the results of their own choices. Let them hear the impact of their own words. They must be able to experiment with the world before them.

Part 2 of this article coming soon! In the meantime, for more information about conscious parenting, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.